Chapter 3: Learning the Japanese language

I learned Japanese at uni. I attended the School of Oriental and African Studies (SOAS) in London back in 2007, and it was a very intensive year-long course. We had classes every day, Monday through Friday, from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. These lessons involved learning kanji, vocabulary, speaking, and listening. It was tough. I came into the course not knowing anything, just having a huge interest in Japan and Japanese culture.

There was a mix of students – a couple of them were from Germany, and some were already experienced in the language, having been English teachers in Japan before. They wanted to improve their Japanese skills to have a better experience when they returned back to Japan. At the time, it was very difficult to travel in and around Japan unless you spoke Japanese or had a translator. Most Japanese people didn't speak English back then. This is different from today, where we can use translation apps, and the younger generation, Gen-Z, in Japan, are really good at speaking English now.

I wanted to learn Japanese for another reason, besides my love for Japanese culture—I wanted to prove to myself that I could learn a language from scratch. I was 22 and had never intensively learned a language, aside from the basic language classes in British primary (elementary) school, French, German or Spanish.

The course was incredibly intense. We were expected to spend time after our lessons in the library studying, revising, and reviewing what we had learned in the morning. We had to take tests on kanji, vocabulary, katakana, grammar, and more. It was overwhelming, and everyone's abilities were so different. Those students coming from Germany learned Japanese through their second language, English, while others had prior knowledge of Japanese. Can you imagine the pressure I was up against?

I started the course feeling excited, but by the 6-month point, I found myself crying most days, frustrated by how difficult it was. However, I didn't want to give up. My supportive parents, even though they didn't understand why I wanted to learn Japanese, were impressed that I kept going. I spent a lot of time watching anime/manga movies and series, listening to Japanese music and songs, and studying rigorously. Despite all my efforts, I seemed to struggle more than my classmates. Out of the 12 of us, I had the lowest marks. Yet, I kept attending the classes, no matter how much I wanted to. I owed it to myself and my parents.

Learning Japanese is not for the faint-hearted. If you've already learned another language, it may be easier, and if you know Chinese characters or kanji can certainly help. To pass the course, we had to be able to read and write 1,200 kanji, which was enough to understand a Japanese newspaper. And that required a tremendous knowledge of vocabulary, kanji and grammar. Japanese grammar is logical, but for me, it didn’t compute in my mind. Just like maths, I hate it.

I felt exhausted and sometimes miserable, but I was desperate to learn and speak Japanese and didn't want to give up. Eventually, I passed the course, receiving my certificate in November 2007. I may not have gotten a merit or distinction, but this was enough to prove that I had worked incredibly hard and could now do basic to intermediate Japanese without feeling completely lost if I went to Japan.

I did practice my Japanese with some language exchange partners I met online on websites like Craigslist and Gumtree. When I finally went to Japan, I was amazed by how well I could get by, even with my "terrible" Japanese, according to my sensai (teacher) back in London. The Japanese people were kind and appreciative that I was trying to learn their language and respect their culture.

Looking back, I'm very proud that I didn't give up, even though it was one of the most challenging things I've ever done. I just kept going, studying and practising like a machine despite the tears and frustration. Crying, studying, crying, studying…

I don't know how I did it, but I'm so proud that I truly did not give up because there was no choice – if you wanted to work or live in Japan as a foreigner at the time, you had to know the language. I was really interested in public relations (PR) at the time, but it doesn't exist today like it did 15 years ago. Now, we have content strategy experts, communications agencies, and digital marketing; it's all different. I’ll explain later in the book why this point is important.

When I arrived in Japan as an English teacher in 2007, I started speaking Japanese right away, asking simple questions about prices, directions, and greetings with “Genki desu ka?” (how are you?) or asking, “Ikura desu ka? (how much is this?)” These small conversations with locals amazed and encouraged me. They would compliment my Japanese, calling it "jouzu" (skillful), and it made me proud. In London, my teachers had been critical, giving me Ds and barely passing grades, but in Japan, I found that my Japanese was actually good. It was then that I realized the best way to learn a language is to immerse yourself in the environment.

I realized that it wasn’t my teachers back in uni who determined whether my Japanese was “good enough”; it was the real-life interactions in Japan. I could navigate daily needs, ask for directions, make purchases—all achievable because I had persevered.

I had spent so much time in my class focusing on the fact that I was falling behind my classmates and scraping passes on my tests, and not appreciating that I could actually communicate and get by in Japanese. If I had been in Japan learning the language, I would have been praised just for trying and wouldn't have been as stressed, rather than constantly comparing myself to my classmates.

This experience taught me a lot about the kindness and love that comes from respecting another culture and language. The sweat, tears, and hard work were definitely worth it, as I was able to navigate Japan and have all the amazing memories and experiences I had.

Please note: Names and places have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals and organisations